Last Day

Today is my last day of Clomid...
It's exciting and scary at the same time. I should ovulate anywhere from tomorrow through the following seven days. I bought a home ovulation detection test kit, I'll test tomorrow. I want to ovulate so badly but that is only half the battle. We have to actually find time to make a baby! My chances are about 50/50 for conception this month if I ovulate. Wow, I'm scared, what if it doesn't work, what if it does? Am I really ready for another baby. I just realized, this very minute that I am, I am ready for baby number three. I plan on taking a pregnancy test if no period by day 35, only 26 more days!!! Nick is so cute, he is really excited about the possibility of another baby, so long as it is a boy! LOL, we don't think that we could handle another Lillee! Well that's all for now, more updates to come!

"A very promising start"

So today was a very big day in the journey to pregnancy. I started my period yesterday, yay! I called and got an appointment today. I went in and Dr. Earl decided to do an ultrasound to see if I had any extremely large cysts (if so clomid would've been contraindicated for me at this time), my ovaries had not changed so I got my script for my first round of clomid. Dr. Earl said that today was, and I quote, "a very promising start for us", just a little prayer and lovin to do to get there. I don't start the clomid until Friday. I should ovulate somewhere around the 10-17 day of my cycle which started yesterday. The instructions that the doc gave me said not to take a pregnancy test until the 35th day, assuming that I don't get my period. That means I have to wait 34 more days to even begin to wonder if it worked. I am trying not to get too excited or whatever because I don't want to set myself up for dissapointment. Who knows though, maybe it will work the first time, just maybe...

Provera

So, I've started taking Provera to induce a period. It hasn't worked yet but I'm only on day 3 of 10. One thing it has worked for is to make me moody :). But I am trying really hard to not be a monster. Today we are getting our Christmas tree and all that. Nick is so sweet sometimes. He tried yesterday to find an ornament that said "hope" to put on the tree for the baby that we are trying to conceive. He doesn't know how much that means to me!

Here are some ultrasound pics of PCOS ovaries. These are not pics of my ovaries, only examples. The brownish colored one is very close to what my ultrasound looked like.

The one to the on top is what a healthy ovary should look like on ultrasound. A very obivious difference.

Hopefully mine will look like that healthy one soon!

Another Thing

Quick update, the nurse from my OBGYN's office called back to say that my blood work shows that I am now insulin resistant. This is something that usually goes along with PCOS, he's going to start me on metformin, a medicine usually used for type II diabetics but has been linked with success for PCOS sufferers. I am looking at this as a positive thing because now it will be treated along with the clomid so hopefully we are on our way to a bun in the oven. And I must say that blogging is free therapy!

Praying it will Work

So just an update today. I decided to call my doctor again. He had mentioned a drug called clomid at my last appointment and after talking with Nick we wanted to try it. The only problem is that I wasn't sure if he would give it to me just yet. Usually doctors will make you try for six months to a year on your own before giving something like that but I decided to ask anyway. So I just got off the phone with his nurse and he's calling me in some provera to induce my period, since I haven't had one for like five months, and then I have to go in to see him as soon as I start. At that point he will do another ultrasound of my ovaries to make sure there isn't a huge cyst that may rupture and I will get my first round of clomid. This doesn't mean that I will get pregnant, just that I will at least have a very good chance of ovulating next month and possibly getting pregnant. I am just praying that this will work but I am thankful that I may be at least heading in a good direction.

The Journey Begins

Hello all, my name is Tessa and I've decided to start this blog to try to get some free therapy. LOL. Well here is my story. I am 26 years old, married to a wonderful man for 8 great years. We have two children 7 and 3 and have been trying for our third over the last few months. A few weeks ago I had a postive pregnancy test and we were over the moon until the next morning when I retested only to find a negative result. Needless to say I was really disapointed. I made an appointment with an OBGYN, haven't been to one of those since the 3 year old was born, and to my dismay found that I had developed Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which will make it difficult for me to conceive again. I am really sad about the whole thing. I have always wanted a large family and Nick and I were really hoping for one more little gift from God to complete our family. Please do not misunderstand, I am so very grateful for the two miracles that we have, I just have this empty place in me, I can't explain it. No one seems to understand it, not even Nick. I have this hurt deep down that won't go away. I see babies EVERYWHERE I go! I can't make people understand that I am trying to get over it and appreciate what I already have, and when I read stories on the web about women who don't even have one child, I feel guilty. I have all of these emotions surging around inside me and I don't know what to do with myself. I love the life that God has given me and I almost feel like a bad person for wanting more and not just accepting what He has given me. I just wonder if it will ever happen, if we will ever have that missing piece to the puzzle of our family. I am so impatient about the whole thing and that doesn't help matters at all. I just let this whole thing consume me and I don't want to, it's out of my control.